


The Darkness I have known

by Night2ingale



Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 16:27:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14572956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Night2ingale/pseuds/Night2ingale
Summary: All those years ago she saw the death of her mother and now a new vision haunts her dreams. Presented with a task of great importance Ashalla will pledge to fight against the darkness but fears she has a selfish reason fordoing so.





	The Darkness I have known

It was a bright morn over Rivendell and the sun cast the city in golden light. Everyone was already out and about enjoying the light of the day. Only not all was well inside the House Of Elrond. 

Ashalla had begged her mother all morn long to stay home. Celebrian had never seen her daughter shed so many tears and and cause such a fuss before. The little girl with coal black hair seemed adamant not to leave the safety of her room.   
Elrond stood outside the door looking at his wife Celebrian a frown resting on his face. 

“ Perhaps you should rearrange this trip my love , I’ve never seen her so upset “ 

His wife shook her head gently , causing her soft curls of golden hair to bounce wildly along the edges of her face . A soft smile graced her lips as the elven lady showed no sign of true concern. 

“ She is at that age Elrond , besides you said you saw nothing. We will be back before you know it. There is no need to fear “ 

She leaned closer to him and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek. 

“ You best speak to her , she always listens to you best , sometimes I doubt if she even hears me “ 

Elrond could not help but smile at his wife , for she possessed the rare ability to make him smile.

“ I will try , but like you my love , she is as stubborn as an ox “ 

She laughed softly a bright sound , unknown to them it would be the last time it was ever heard 

“ I’m sure your one to talk , now get in there or it will be dark as we are leaving “

Elrond smiled softly before entering the room quietly , his smile disappearing as he saw the elfling curled on her bed crying ever so softly. His heart broke at the sight , he had never seen her like this. He tried to think back on the times he had seen her crying but she would always wipe her tears away before threatening in a polite manner she was going to remove their head from their body. Worry grew inside him that something was terribly wrong. She was a quiet reserved child , preferred to spend her time with her sister , braiding hair , playing in the gardens and on occasion scolding her brothers. And when anything did worry her she always told him or even Arwen about it. Only now she seemed to recoil from him as he carefully stood a seat beside her small curled up body on the bed. He gently stroked the back of her head trying to sooth her, as she moved trying to recoil from him he noticed a glint of sliver and his eyes widened in shock , he firmly but gently pulled her arm up revealing an elvish longsword , Ashalla struggled wildly , trying to free herself desperately from his grip. 

“ No ada , no I need it “

Had it not been for his firm grip she would have most certainly ended up cutting herself off the blade. 

“ Ashalla ? , where did you get this “ 

His tone grew serious as he tried to make her understand how important this situation was , and also to let her know it was time to talk , no more dancing around the subject. But the little girl refused to speak a word , her dark blue eyes staring deep into his gaze as tears rolled down her cheeks and yet there was still defiance in her eyes. A longsword was no toy , it was a weapon , a weapon that if not taken serious could cause great harm. She had no training , she had never even expressed an interest in swordplay otherwise he would have trained her so that at least then she would understand the danger and not get hurt.   
She tried to pulled away from him , refusing to speak at all , but Elrond was beyond worried now and there was no way he was simply leaving now and disregarding this as a child’s tantrum. This was not a child simply acting out . this was a child terrified of something. 

“ Ashalla, I’m not going to ask again “ 

“ Good “ 

The little girl snapped coldly , she did not back down her gaze . Then again she never backed down when she seemed to have her mind set on something. Her eyes where like the ocean during a storm , a deep blue that seemed to cover everything else , all emotions washed away by pure power alone. 

“ Ashalla , swords are not to be played with , they are dangerous and this one is way too big for you , were you to try and wield it you would only injure yourself “ 

He tried to remain calm but his daughters unusual behaviour was troubling him deeply. 

“ I took it from Elladan …… He doesn’t know I have it “ 

Elrond sighed softly , at least she was talking , maybe they would get somewhere sometime of this century. 

“ And why would you want a blade “ 

“ To use it “ 

The way she spoke was cold , unchildlike , spoken like one who had seen the pain and grief of war. Elrond was taken back by this , for Ashalla was never one for violence , in fact Elrond had at one stage feared she was too soft . There was a long time where she refused to eat meat as she learned animals had to die for it to be eaten. She always came home with injured creatures and begged him to heal them and now she wished to use a blade… to harm someone or something. 

“ You do not know what that means Ashalla , that is not a light thing to say. You shouldn’t even think of such things “ 

“ I do Ada , it means I live and they die “ 

Elrond raised an eyebrow at his daughter , now they were getting somewhere 

“ Who dies ? “ 

At this the little girl went silent and her eyes refused to meet his . Elrond released her as he sensed she could not be pushed any further . She would not reveal anything more and were he to try and force her , she would lie and lies would fix nothing. He stood up swiftly and looked back at her , she recoiled closer to the window , her favourite place to sit and stare down at the gardens to see the flowers that only bloom in the light of the moon. 

“ Ashalla , do not play with blades , they bring only pain “ 

Elrond sighed as she did not even glance at him , and so he left the room holding the blade close to her chest . He had a suspicion of what might had happened and so he went to the library in search of his wife. He could not let them leave when he felt something was deeply wrong with their daughter. As he walked gently into the library he saw his wife glancing at the books by a lone bookcase , she would always take a book for the journey , only he sensed she was just pretending to look , for her mind seemed elsewhere. He approached his wife and as she heard his footsteps she turned giving a weak smile to him . Even now when her mind was filled with worry , he could not imagine a more beautiful woman. 

“ My love I think we should talk “ 

His tone grew deep , always a clear indication of when he was worried. Celebrian sighed softly and began to frown already suspecting what was going to be said. Or so she thought. 

“ I see she has convinced you instead of the other way around “ 

She spoke softly as the faint smile disappeared from her lips. 

“ My dear were it simply a tantrum I would not be this concerned nor would I heed to it. You know this. But this is not a child simply acting out this is a child scared , no terrified of something .I have never seen such fear in her eyes before , such terror “ 

His voice cracked slightly as his face contorted in worry , He had never seen his youngest this scared before , and the fact she refused to eat nor drink all day was only adding to his concern. She was not even this scared when she brothers pushed her into the river and she couldn’t swim. Something was terrifying his daughter and he felt helpless to stop it.   
He took a deep breath before looking at Celebrian again , she had sensed he was not finished and she was right. 

“ She stole a blade from Elladen , I know not how “ 

He held up the blade so Celebrian could see and the moment her eyes made contact with the blade , all colour drained from her face as fear filled her. 

“ Is she hurt ? What in the Valars names was she doing with a blade “ 

Elrond shook his head , he noticed the tremble in her voice and walked closer pulling her to him in a hug , gently stroking her back as he attempted to calm her .   
“ She is unharmed physically , but mentally I cannot tell , She is terrified Celebrian , so terrified she refuses to even speak about that has striked such fear into the very depths of her heart. When I asked her what she wanted a blade for , she replied so calmly it was fierce , she said she wished to use it. When I told her she did not understand what it meant to wield a blade she told me she did . that she would live and they would die. I do not understand whom she speaks of and she will not say any more on the subject. “ 

Celebrian looked up at her husband , her soft blue eyes full of fear and pain , concern over her little girl who just yesterday morn was out helping the stable-hand brush the horses. 

“ Such hatred ……. Is she truly gone so far in the space of a day “ 

Tears began to escape her eyes and flow down her cheeks as she spoke. Elrond gently brought a hand to her cheek and began to gently wipe the tears from her eyes. He shook his head gently as he brought her gaze to meet his. 

“ She is not lost to us yet. I sense no hatred in her heart. Only fear and pain but should she have to wield the blade … I fear then that hatred may begin to poison her heart.   
I do not understand on how she became so scared ….. In one night. She was in her bed all night , I even checked with the guards to see if she snuck out out “ 

Celebrian looked at her husband and shook her head softly. 

“ I do not understand it either my love. But it is clear , forcing her to travel would be a bad idea. She could attract danger and darkness with the way her emotions are. “ 

Elrond gently stroked his wife’s cheek 

“ A day is all I ask , I am sure she will calm once she realises that I will not allow any danger to harm either of you. “ 

He spoke sternly as he looked down at her and rested his chin on her head. He would not allow danger near them. This he swore. 

“ What should we do in the meantime …. I doubt leaving her alone will solve anything. “ 

“ Perhaps we should let Arwen in to see her. Ashalla trusts Arwen beyond anyone else. You have seen them in the gardens together. Ashalla tells Arwen of her fears because she knows Arwen will not tell her brothers. Nor tell anyone else. With her brothers it is competition. “ 

Celebrian sighed softly 

“ I wish she would trust me, speak to me. She would not even look at me when I walked in and when I went to hug her she recoiled as if fearing I would strike her. She was so terrified of being near me. Did I do something wrong ? , Have I done something so terrible that my own daughter does not even wish to look at me “ 

Elrond closed her eyes and breathed in deeply 

“ My love , you have done nothing wrong. She loves you dearly you can sense that surely. But she is simply scared now. Maybe she simply wishes not to scare anyone else. Things can seem much scarier when your young in this world.   
Perhaps Her brothers taunted her over hugs and told her they are a sign of weakness. “ 

Celebrian nodded slowly 

“ Well if they have , I will hug them in front of everyone they know to teach them a lesson ….  
But I worry also for Arwen , I do not wish for both my daughters to be poisoned with fear. “ 

“ Arwen is older wiser , she knows it is not a weakness to seek council . Ashalla is just simply at that age where seeking aid means shame and is not helped by her brothers. Arwen knows enough of this world , she understands grief and death but Ashalla knows nothing of it.  
They will both be fine, separating them will only makes things worse. They have a bond that we cannot understand and shouldn’t stand in the way of. “ 

Celebrian nodded gently as she slowly began to accept , she could not help her daughter not directly but she could help by simply standing aside. 

“ She will be fine my love , she is resilient after all , she is your daughter “ 

Elrond held his wife close and closed his eyes , something still didn’t feel right like he was missing the centre piece of a puzzle that connected all the dots. It was like a cloud looming over the elven land , waiting to suddenly burst and like tears, rain would flow down drowning everyone. 

Meanwhile Ashalla sat on her bed , hands covering her ears as if she could somehow stop hearing the voices. But the voices where in her mind , repeating what she had seen , echoing , haunting her every moment. She did not understand it , did not understand the beasts she saw , nor why they wishes such things. She had never seen such images before , she had seen her brothers practising but no one was ever hurt , she just couldn’t comprehend it. Tears ran down her face as she heard the screams again. There was a soft knock on her door and she quickly scrambled to lay down , curling up tightly. Hiding her face as she closed her eyes , tightly pretending to be asleep. She heard the sound of the door opening and then the sound of light footsteps followed by the gentle sway of silk fabric. A sweet scent filled her nose giving away the identity of whom was entering her room . Arwen her older sister and while on any other day she would have gotten up and ran over to greet her with a hug , she lay still hoping her sister would leave. 

“ Asha .. I know your not asleep , just as I know you did not truly think that trick would work. I can hear you crying. Ada is worried about you , as am I “ 

Her voice was gentle as she took a seat beside her younger sister , gently placing a hand on her back. She could feel her pain and her heart broke for her. Ashalla sat up slowly and wiped her eyes gently as she hoped to wipe away the tears. 

“ I’m fine … I don’t want Ada to worry nor do I want to worry you or Mamae “ 

“ Why don’t you wish to go and see Galadriel and Celeborn . They can’t wait to meet you , You haven’t seen them since you were a baby. “ 

Ashalla shook her head causing her hair to bounce wildly 

“ No Arwen the road isn’t safe , Elladen says their are beasts on the road … Orcs “ 

Ashalla knew she had made a mistake speaking , for Arwen looked surprised and she sat up straight 

“ Ashalla , how do you know what Orc’s are “ 

Her tone change as she looked at her sister , worry filling her . 

“ Did you sneak out again ? “ 

She continued to ask as Ashalla shyed away , shaking her head in a desperate attempt to defend herself but she could not find the words for telling the truth seemed no better an answer. She feared the truth more than the lie. 

Arwen rose from the bed 

“ Ashalla what did you see , did you see Orcs “ 

The little girl shook her head desperately but Arwen was beyond worried now , Ashalla shouldn’t be able to tell what an Orc was. 

“ Is that why you had the blade Ashalla “ 

“ Yes .. No .. .Arwen ..Please “ 

Arwen shook her head

“ Asha this is serious , you can’t sneak out and find those things, They are dangerous “ 

“ I KNOW ! “ 

Ashalla screamed at her sister as tears rolled down her cheeks , fear filling her heart as well as panic. Arwen stiffened surprised at the scream but noticed that it was just because she was scared. She noticed her own panicking was only making things worse and so she sat down again and pulled her sister into a hug , hug her tightly despite her attempts to free herself. 

“ NO … NO . “ 

“ Shhhhh Ashalla , close your eyes and rest … I won’t let them hurt you “ 

The little girl slowly began to settle as she lay in her sisters arms. Slowly but surely she drifted off to sleep. Arwen lay down with the little girl and she too curled up going to sleep.   
Elrond entered a while later to see both his daughters fast asleep ……… He prayed all would be well , but as he looked at the tears still rolling down his youngest face he knew not all was well.   
He prayed the journey the next day would be a peaceful one.


End file.
